Mitt Romney The "Wounded Duck"

The Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s time as CEO of Bain Capital goes a little something like this.

Corporate Raider

These companies were all wounded ducks. There are two standard approaches when companies come in and take over these entities. The first is to come in, fix the broken wing, see if the duck can fly again, and everybody is happy. The second is to come in, look at the broken wing, decide the duck can't be saved and try and recover what ever you can for the duck’s carcass.

To his credit, Mitt Romney came up with a third option. He had his people out looking for wounded ducks. He came in, showed everyone one he could fix the wing, got all of the duck's vendors to give him medical supplies on credit, talked up how profitable the duck would be for everyone once it was flying again, had his friends plant stories with investors on how this wounded duck was actually a golden goose, fired all the veterinarians that could actually heal the duck to save costs, raided the duck's benefits so that the duck lost it's nest, broke the ducks other wing to ensure it would never fly again, bit off it's head to kill it, declared bankruptcy to stiff the vendors, stole the investors money as a nice nest egg, padded his bank account with the duck feathers and ate the duck's eggs raw for breakfast. He did create a job for the guy who had to bury the bones though. What a great American.